travel diary: kraków

You know what indicates you have just had a great trip? When you come back home and all you want to do is to start planning another one. 

This is honestly the first photo I have taken in that amazing city. It wasn't well thought over, just a capture of the first thing my eyes saw when I entered the Main Square of Krakow. See the wall on the left? I just refused to wait until we pass it by completely. As always the camera that accompanied me was Canon AE-1 Program and photos in this post were shot with Agfa Vista 200 film, Fuji X-tra 400 & Kodak Ultramax 400.

We did a bunch of things during that trip. We visited a Cat cafe, oh what a horrendous experience.  We did lots of sight seeing and museum visiting, which I loved. We grabbed Japanese fast food - takoyaki, which are made from batter and squid - also called Octopus balls :) I finally saw the Lady with an ermine painting, which is a life must see I guess. I will definitely split the whole story into a few posts at least! So if you are interested, click the read more and let's start!

nameless cat

Nameless cats are perhaps my favourite. Sometimes I wish I was more like them. Responding to nothing and no one. Just so free and careless, not worrying about anything. There is always a nameless cat in Murakami's books, there was a nameless cat in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Looks like they are somehow iconic characters. 

“Holding this soft, small living creature in my lap this way, though, and seeing how it slept with complete trust in me, I felt a warm rush in my chest. I put my hand on the cat's chest and felt his heart beating. The pulse was faint and fast, but his heart, like mine, was ticking off the time allotted to his small body with all the restless earnestness of my own.” ― Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle 

I had always failed at capturing animals. I was never fast enough. My yorkie loves to move way too much. The cat just gazed at me when I kneeled down beside him and focused my lens. He gazed with those beautiful light eyes. Maybe it was the heat of that day that made him so lazy, he just did not want to move away from me. I could see that he wanted to play, but I felt like so did his claws. And those sharp little knife-like teeth.

There will be a new post in two or three days when I put together some description of the flea market that we visited when I was leaving Bialystok for summer vacation. I shot with Kodak Ultramax 400, so there will be some gorgeous tones here and there. Stay tuned! And since I've gone back to regular blogging now, I would love to have you apply for the free banner swaps that I offer! Let's grow our blogs together! You can click here if you are interested! :)

my favourite faded fantasy

My vacation has finally begun. But like always in life, I just cannot spend my days in bed and forget about the whole world. In the past, I successfully vanished each time the vacation started. This year, unlike any other, it is just too hard to fully let go of everything and everyone. Maybe I no longer know how to turn invisible. I cannot go unseen. Life in another city has made me stronger, but when I saw a familiar face in the crowd the other day, all the feelings came back to me. During my school years, I was worth nothing. Nobody ever cared about me. I was never popular, neither in the positive nor the negative way. I just existed. Often people laughed at me, because of the stupidest reasons, like the house I lived in or that my mum was so protective of me, that I couldn't go on  a bus by myself until I was 11 or 12. I heard bitter words because I was skinny and my breasts did not exist until late middle school. During the first years in school, I was surrounded by people that spoiled and clueless about real life, that I feel so relieved that I no longer see them day to day. I somehow survived the worst years, living my dream life in my head, living all the scenarios. Maybe I took after my dad in more than just height. I feel like we both demand perfection from ourselves. I wish it was not the case, because I am honestly tired of feeling like I am not enough. I swear, it would have been easier if I just forgot that anyone is actually reading those ramblings that I gather here.

I would have lied if I said that all my life I had been dreaming about you. I had been dreaming about douches and fuck-ups that never took a second glance at me. That perhaps treated my interests as flaws, while you think of me as a smart and well-rounded girl. I do not feel complete, but with you I have learnt to love what I am. And now I feel more sure that I can take a chance at whatever I want, and even if my wishes are not granted, I feel that I deserve the best. Thank you.

shooting people

Some time ago, I told you I was going to try to become more of a 'portrait-shooter' in future. As much as uncomfortable it makes me at the moment, when I still worry that I will be facing other person's expectations, I am trying to make it all happen. So here I am today, ready to show you a few photographs taken this week with my friend - Agata, of course in the Palace gardens. I don't know who was more stressed, Agata or myself, but somehow we managed to take a couple of nice shots. I especially love the first one. With a fairly clean frame, good light and thought behind it. With film, it is always scary, because you might not take any good shots, you let the model go, and you might just be left with nothing. I am still holding onto film though. Maybe I am scared of being mediocre. Because honestly, film is what makes it so special in my opinion. I wish I knew more about rules of composition, about how to make it even more unique. I might have learnt the ropes, but there is so much of development that can be done in this field. I am scared of bad opinions and critique, therefore photography stays as a hobby and a hobby only. It has made me realize, I have been shooting film for two years already! No interest had ever lasted that long!

positive varsovie vibes

I am so so sorry for leaving you with no decent posts for so long! May & June will hopefully be the last months of my year three, so once the summer comes I will be here for good. Soon (in June) this blog will turn two years old, which makes me proud and excited to think what else will come my way. Photography has become so important, I don't want to ever let go of it! Today I am taking you with my photographs to sunny Warsaw, where I spent last May break, having been asked by my new flatmate to visit her for a few days. Beware, this post is a photo masterpost! I decided to show you most of the shots I took on that weekend. Featuring also pictures from the gorgoues Wilanów palace-gardens complex, leaving out only the ones took with Kodak Portra 400, since it was my first time with that film and I think it deserves a separate post about its performance and my opinion :) So read more, enjoy! Also, I have finally hit the 1k mark on Instagram, thank you everyone for following me and if you want to do so - check @cadds

umami tales

Umami /uːˈmɑːmi/, a savory taste, is one of the five basic tastes (together with sweet, sour, bitter and salty).

A loanword from the Japanese (うま味?), umami can be translated as "pleasant savory taste". This particular writing was chosen by Professor Kikunae Ikeda from umai (うまい) "delicious" and mi (味) "taste". The kanji 旨味 are used for a more general sense of a food as delicious.

Not being anything close to a cook, I have always looked at Katie's Randomly Delicious series and considered it a great idea. We often eat in the city, which is pricey and probably not the best idea, yet I just love doing so. My menu often includes sushi, in all forms, lots of pasta, desserts at Bella Vita and good old pizza. Generally, I am a lover of Italian and Japanese cuisine. Quite a mix, but I wouldn't trade them for anything else. On the other hand I love anything that goes with coffee, therefore lunches, brunches and regular breakfasts.

I rarely prepare something at home, but little sandwiches with salmon, arugula and cream cheese quickly became my favourite, after I tried them in one of those local lunch type coffee houses. Everything might be going in the right direction though because yesterday I found a cooking pal in my friend P, with whom we made our first meat patties. And this is how we're going to make it through the next three years. I would love to be cooking with my A, but we are never in the kitchen at the same time, so that might pose an issue :)

learn how to appear on my blog here.

Student life makes you quite familiar with toast bread. Actually, after two years it becomes your best friend. And I more than adore when I get served pancakes with some maple syrup. It's more than delicious and extremely sweet.

I'm back!

Having written the last exam of year two of stomatology and with prospects of passing it, it's time for me to come back to real life. Real life, meaning days of book reading and picture taking. I would love to come back to my routine of lomography. Last year I had approximately one roll to be developed each week, so that was definitely a pretty good time for this blog. This year I'm actually struggling to decide what I want to show you, guys. 

I have an awful lot of plans for summer vacations of 2014. Remember Prague last year? (The essence of Prague in pictures) It was a blast, certainly. So this year we will try to think further and go somewhere else. Which makes me really excited, cause I can only dream of the rolls I could get developed after a trip to Budapest, Barcelona or any other place in our beautiful Europe. I've got dozens ideas in my head on where to go next. 

I am extremely happy to have welcomed some new people in my life, and the way how people bond over both similarities and differences is amazing. I was always afraid of seeing personalites clash, but now I realize that giving people a chance is actually the only way for your life to be a little better, one coffee or meeting at a time. 

The past few weeks were hell. I mean they pretty much sucked the life out of me, so I just need to take some time off from thinking. I want to watch pointless dramas and eat as much pizza as I can. I want to stay home and cook spaghetti, with Thieving Magpie in the background, since it's basically something you'd call a perfect spaghetti cooking melody. Yes, I do take a lot of my thoughts from Murakami. Speaking of which, I hope by that time tomorrow I will have been a happy owner of his newly published first novels. Once I get it and spend some quality 1 on 1 time with it in my bathtub, you will surely have a post about it coming. I read his latest Tsukuru Tazaki book earlier this year and it was something that deserves some comment on here as well. A book actually pretty controversial since you either hate it or you love it. 

Food and coffee were some pretty serious partners of mine the last term. I even thought of making some Randomly delicious post, because Katie got me inspired on that one as well (head over there to see some deeeelicious treats she was having recently). 

Where are you going for your summer holidays? Is it by any chance anywhere near Poland? :) I promise that I will speak to you very very soon. I am not leaving you until the uni starts again in October, so prepare yourself for photography and lots of rambling. Let's settle things this way, what you can expect from dipped in rococo is a new post each 4-5 days. I want to show you how my sister's wedding looked like. There is one final post coming where I'm going to dwell upon how my life changed in that academic year and what I want to do with it next. Oh and in a month's time I will be 21 years old. That's tragic, but there will be post for that occasion as well. Hugs and kisses, your Kasia.

in every direction

Yes, I have been missing in action. I'm still in the game though, and dealing with prospects of finishing year two. Those days,, I feel incredibly human. I dream of sleep and what it may bring, and how joyful the trip back to reality will be. I'm always looking for ways to get closer, the embrace - tighter. And I make more mistakes than I could bear, but I am too focused to let it go. I'm not letting anything go. And I wish you couldn't let go of me too. I think where I had always wanted to be, was underneath somebody's skin. 

I think no human being had made me this happy in my life before. You know this feeling when you belong. Not only in this one moment, a place or dimension. You belong to this very person you're holding. And you realize your fate is both fortunate and tragic, since unhappiness will find you one day. It will find you, and it will claim you. It's the kind of thing you get when you're not looking.

I am so so sorry for not writing for so long. I had to focus on university and get down to work at last, passing everything so far. I am two tests, three exams away from vacation and being (not yet officially) a student of year three of dentistry. Great to see that so far I am holding on, not backing down. Year three sounds so advance, three out of five gives me shivers. It's supposedly the best time of my life now, yet all I can think about is how to cope and how to move forward with my education. This academic year, I have been up & around, trying to evolve, both personally and in the terms of education/career. I need to admit it was hard to deal with these two at the very same time, and I needed to do some planning and time schedule switches to achieve the balance I have at this point. I'm still me, but I honestly think I know life just a little more now.

We made a spontaneous decision of going to Warsaw to cherish some classical music in one of my favourite places in the city - Łazienki, the park-and-palace complex. We got to be there during some beautiful weather, and we even got sun-burnt a little bit. Imagine yourself in the middle of the park, listening to Chopin and letting yourself relax and knowing that your biggest worry for now, is whether you're going to get that photo of a squirrel or not.

It was a great opportunity to take some photographs, so I did, and here are some results. :) Thank you A & P for amazing company!

distance of the modern hearts

This is what happens, when you decide to go to a concert, loving the music, but not quite knowing how the artists look like. And suddenly, boom, you end up in the second row, in front of a stage filled with absolutely hot guys, whose moves literally give you goosebumps, but at the same time warm you up from the inside. This cannot be described in a way other than, it was bloody marvellous. And the fact that we got our tickets signed afterwards, and that I actually spoke with T, and I decided to speak my mind for once (complimenting him in a very definite way), it all made it worth it. Absolutely worth the lack of sleep that I got the following night. Their energy was amazing, their moves as equally. So it's fair to say, I'm hooked on Melt, T and the way he smiled at me, when he said he noticed me during the concert. Life=made. My friend said that if we continue to be crazy and talk to them this way, we'll soon be crushing their afterparties. I would certainly not mind, so I'm not giving up on being my charming little self. 

There are certain moments in life, which make you want to just squeeze them, put in your heart and mind, and never let go. Even though I ended up being picture-less (I actually think a polaroid would be the best option for me to buy and use on such gigs, great place for the autographs as well, damn) my mind repeats it over and over. Coming to a general conclusion about that night, platonic crushes are the best, in a world where all you do is study, eat and sleep (with drinking occuring way too rarely), I love beats that seem to break my ribs, sometimes being somebody's last choice might actually turn out to be very rewarding if you just close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel the rhythm. Maybe I should just drop everything that ties me down, and become a groupie? A groupie, who desperately needs a haircut, though.

Life goes on rapidly. I seem to be bruising easily nowadays, and I mean both, literal (as you can see above) and metaphorical meaning of that word. Sometimes I feel like all I see is flashing lights. People growing closer, people growing apart, learning to let things go or to finally let myself go and have fun. I am so glad to finally be able to start planning my summer trips, since I officially got my first scholarship payment today. As you can see, I seem to have so much luck these days, (I also got 3 Red Bulls instead of 1, out of a vending machine on Wednesday :D) so I'm clearly enjoying my existence, which I suppose is why I find myself smiling more. Nothing, and I mean nothing, no one, not one thing in this whole world, is going to spoil that, because I simply won't let it. 

I think we can say that November is over. I'd predicted it would be a hell of a month, but instead I ended up being more social, talkative, and welcomed a bit of self-awareness into my life, that I never though would be there by now. I managed to catch up with J, had a blast at a birthday party (a separate post coming for sure, as soon as I free the pictures that are stuck in my current roll, which I fail to finish), attended the PTTS Warsaw conference and finally saw Kamp!, all that in one month that I thought would leave me studying twenty four/seven. Last week made me add two more things to my happy jar, which will be emptied in exactly one month and one day, on New Year's Eve. I'm way too picky when it comes to putting things in that jar. Or maybe it's just that I have not felt truly content in a long time. Have a lovely December guys! I'm off with my first caffeine dose and physiology for the rest of today.

S i n g  b e f o r e  b r e a k f a s t,  c r y  b e f o r e  n i g h t.

Lomo side of the story: I more than loved my first roll of Kodak Ultramax 400, and I swear if it wasn't for the price of it, I would come back to that film more often. November was not a golden age for my camera, since my life has been one big school routine since October. Now that the scholarship money is around, a new lens might make an appearance in my life, who knows! :)

pumpkin spice and yoga pants

Varsovie was kind and entertaining. It gave me exactly what I needed, in an exact amount that I needed. Even though it was not as visually pleasing as I predicted it would be, I am sure it's a trip to remember. I stayed at my friend's apartment, which is located in a building with an actual lobby-like entrance. Big aquarium and red leather sofas included! It just might be the effect, which Warsaw has on me. I felt far away from home, far away from everything. But at the same time, I felt that this city was his, and I did not actually belong. (I seem to have a slight problem with our lovely capital.) That's the trick. So I felt all that, and I have to admit that I'd gone reckless. Feels like I might want to make it a habit. I didn't take many pictures, because I rarely took my camera out with me. All you need to know is that we partied well, or at least I have a feeling we did.

If you say "pumpkin spice latte" in the mirror 3 times, a white girl in yoga pants will appear & tell you all her favorite things about fall.

I was so glad to find out, that Pumpkin Spice Latte is not only about the hype, and it's actually a delicious piece of caffein treat. The autumn menu at Starbucks is almost gone, so I'm happy to have tasted it at last! About my favourite things about fall. There are not too many. This fall, I spend my days at the library, dating my books and English Division possibilites. And my camera, sometimes.

Cold days are coming, I can feel it in my bones. Snow might be weeks or days away, and it will take only a moment for this city to be covered with it again, to the fear in my heart and the coldness of my hands. But that also means that Żubroffka movie festival is coming. And THAT'S a real treat for a hipster like me. (Still in denial.) And this is a happy thing. Why exactly? Because I very much enjoyed it last year.

The most amazing feeling in the whole world, is when you decide to stop being egocentric about something. You do now know how it's going to turn out for you in the future, but the feeling is just so pure and simple. It goes down your spine like a spark, ignited by freedom and fairness in your mind. You've stopped playing somebody else's game, congratulations. In other words, I decided to stop being needy and from now on, I won't use people (even if they want to be used), only because I'm bored with my life. 10 points for you, Kasia Górska.

Folks at PTSS Warsaw did a great job, although I still think their lottery sucked (I did not win anything). Next conference will be held in Gdansk, and that makes me super excited, because this is where my best friend lives. We spent most of our Saturday in that lecture hall, listening to facts about endo, bruxism, implantology or ortodontics. Saturday party was pretty much a fail. An enormous crowd, problems at the entrance, not enough % in my blood, the list goes on. But Friday was amazing. It really was.