Friday, 19 June 2015

shooting people

Some time ago, I told you I was going to try to become more of a 'portrait-shooter' in future. As much as uncomfortable it makes me at the moment, when I still worry that I will be facing other person's expectations, I am trying to make it all happen. So here I am today, ready to show you a few photographs taken this week with my friend - Agata, of course in the Palace gardens. I don't know who was more stressed, Agata or myself, but somehow we managed to take a couple of nice shots. I especially love the first one. With a fairly clean frame, good light and thought behind it. With film, it is always scary, because you might not take any good shots, you let the model go, and you might just be left with nothing. I am still holding onto film though. Maybe I am scared of being mediocre. Because honestly, film is what makes it so special in my opinion. I wish I knew more about rules of composition, about how to make it even more unique. I might have learnt the ropes, but there is so much of development that can be done in this field. I am scared of bad opinions and critique, therefore photography stays as a hobby and a hobby only. It has made me realize, I have been shooting film for two years already! No interest had ever lasted that long!

About my personal life, if that interests you. I am still fighting with odds, when it comes to finishing year three with a fairly nice set of grades. I have two exams left, and then I will be able to call it vacation time. My room is a mess that I cannot conquer. My soul is still a romantic, gasping for air, when I saw you holding that huge red rose and handing it over to me. It still gets me, you know. But I still have problems with sharing too much. My heart aches from time to time, but whose doesn't? "There are some days where I feel like no matter where I go, I always end up feeling the same, because all the places are the same in the end. Or maybe it's just me and no matter where I go, I could never run far enough from who I am, and I could never run far enough from everything that hurts."

Friday, 5 June 2015

first time with kodak portra

Looks like I might have caught a cold from my cold,  f r e e z i n g  heart. No matter how silly it sounds, it might just be the case. Or it's just the mix of hormones in my cardiovascular system that makes me continuosly push you away from me. I want us to pull through. To arrive ashore in one piece. This is what I am hoping for these days. This is the wish that I have.

Having my photographs displayed some place public was an incredible experience. It happened at the night of museums in the Branicki Palace, where our university's photography club had its exbihibtion. Since one of the members is studying dentistry with me, he asked whether I would like to have some of my photos displayed. I said yes! The picking process was pretty long and almost gave me a headache. It was all worth it though! The minute we stepped inside the Palace and I saw actual human beings lurking around the exhibition and looking at my works - a truly beautiful feeling entered my heart and left me pumped up for another week or so! 

Moments like these, when my photography "goes alive", I find myself even more motivated and happy. 

Today I want to show you some snaps using Kodak Portra 400. This is a so-called professional film, which is also more expensive than what I usually use. I was supposed to keep it for portraits, but since I did not manage to find time for a pre-planned shooting session, I just shot the roll during my normal activities. I am very satisfied with the results and the tones, warm and up-lifting. Exactly what I was looking for :)

Saturday, 9 May 2015

positive varsovie vibes

I am so so sorry for leaving you with no decent posts for so long! May & June will hopefully be the last months of my year three, so once the summer comes I will be here for good. Soon (in June) this blog will turn two years old, which makes me proud and excited to think what else will come my way. Photography has become so important, I don't want to ever let go of it! Today I am taking you with my photographs to sunny Warsaw, where I spent last May break, having been asked by my new flatmate to visit her for a few days. Beware, this post is a photo masterpost! I decided to show you most of the shots I took on that weekend. Featuring also pictures from the gorgoues Wilanów palace-gardens complex, leaving out only the ones took with Kodak Portra 400, since it was my first time with that film and I think it deserves a separate post about its performance and my opinion :) So read more, enjoy! Also, I have finally hit the 1k mark on Instagram, thank you everyone for following me and if you want to do so - check @cadds

Saturday, 2 May 2015

few snaps for a better saturday

Today I feel like a worn out shoe. Yesterday I came back from Warsaw, where I spent two days of my spring break. I took a lot of photographs, that you will see next week. I met some amazing and inspiring people, even a Polish super model which I adore, a meeting that left me shaking from excitement. I could go on and on about that trip and how amazing I felt photographing that city and new places I had never explored before, but there will surely be time for that in the next post. Lately, I have been living in my fake empire, with some events that made me very stressed and unhappy. I regret nothing. I just want to go on living, not standing in anyone's way, but I refuse, I really refuse to be blamed for all of it. Do you ever feel like you are a good person, but that it has its end?

I want to keep going even though it gets tough. I admire people with skills, people who are deeply in love with what they do. I love seeing how their eyes lighten up, when they are talking about things they love. And when they say that they hope they would go on doing something forever. I never felt such love towards anything. No matter how bad it sounds, at least I don't feel like I have missed any chances. 

Coffee and little sweet treats are what I love, truly.
I bought myself new blue sneakers, which turned out to be super comfortable and perfect for the strolls we are taking nowadays, somehow bored with our old routes.