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Wednesday, 12 June 2013

I'm feeling weirdly mixed up today. Maybe it's the fact that I only came back home a half an hour ago. Or maybe because I've seen two great movies today. Silver Linings Playbook & The Great Gatsby. If it wasn't for the fact that we'd already got tickets, we would have skipped the latter, that's for sure. Even if only to prolong the sweet state of mind the first movie left us in. The only way you can beat my crazy was by doing something crazy yourself. Thank you. I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck. We were at some bar, drinking beer with our friends and maybe for a moment I even felt like I couldn't care less about the rest. Although my thoughts seem to wander away. Almost all of the time.

I had a lovely afternoon, I must say! For the first time in a long time I went for a walk by myself. Then I met Nat for a coffee -- but we ended up having lemonade instead, at the most hipster place in Białystok that I could think of. After that, I overexposed one of my films by recklessly rolling it up. Everything takes practice, I suppose. I'll get round to how to do less damage, I promise. Lomography has become a fantastic journey for me. Looks like by looking into the viewfinder, I might be looking into my own head at the same time. Fascinating. I'm slowly beginning to realize how big part of my design is the right composition. Also, details. I'm scared I might be taking my habit of taking pictures of food into my lomo world. Whoops. I'm definitely going to try to take pictures of more people. Architecture is indeed fascinating! So is nature in general. But humans, oh my, what a great piece of art we all are! 

What is that wanderlust that recently awoke in me? It's the first time in my life that I really begin to notice that. And what's more -- understand it. Just few days passed and my mind has already been to places like Berlin, London, even Tokyo.. Tokyo has become one of my biggest dreams. Mostly because this goal is unreachable. Who knows though. Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And then one fine morning—

Sadly, you can never escape your past. It might bring solace one night, but complete desperation the next day. How do you shake something that's already under your skin? (Yes, I am shamelessly quoting Hannibal here.) That sentence is haunting me. Same with names, facts and dates that randomly come up in different conversations I'm having every day. All the information collide and it's got an overwhelming impact on me, because I keep missing all that I can never have again.

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© Dipped in Rococo ~ lifestyle in analog Maira Gall.