their june wedding

So it happened, my sis got married. I'm ashamed to say I partied too hard at her wedding and coming back here, to write an exam only three days later was a killer. Worst hours of my life in the last few months. It was the very first wedding that I attended. Same with wedding reception, which my sis organised perfectly to the last bit. But I'm going to show you some details the other time. For now let's focus on the preparation part, which took place in our house. My sister's hubby brought some cultural gems with him. There was an actual band playing outside of my house, in my garden, with about two dozens of people waiting for my sister to go out in her wedding dress. My fam & I were speechless. I was only Snapchating those moments to my closest people, afraid they would not believe my words.

Photographing at her wedding was a really stresful experience. I am not fully content with what I got, because my sis is a big supporter of my try at shooting film. I am so happy she finds it beautiful and insisted that I take my camera to her wedding as well. Fortunately, apart from me, there was a professional photographer and also a camera man. Crazy, but supposedly it's the last wedding she's the star of, so alright, let her have all that.

We all had lovely little pink carnations in our hair. At first, few months ago, she asked me to be her bridesmaid, but with all the obligations I have at the university and knowing that perhaps I will appear in Olsztyn a day before it all begins, I sadly refused since I believed she needed a person who could give her so much more than I could, in terms of dress choosing and all the other stuff I would have been too busy for. The wedding day began at 7am, because we were already booked at the hairdresser's and after that we drove back to our house where the makeup artist awaited. CRAZY. And of course I ended up looking like a doll. Quite what I wanted, but I take part in such events so rarely that perhaps I could overdo for once. 

Everything went completely insane when it was only about an hour till the church ceremony was to start. My mum was so stressed out and of course there had to be at least three tries before my sis ended up in her dress, with another thirty minutes of lacing it up.

About the love part. I did not take the camera to the church with me because I found it way too emotional. Sitting in the second row, I could see my sister's hands shaking. And everyone present could hear how P's voice was breaking down when he spoke the vows. Oh my. 

Well, love makes you go mad. It makes you act cuckoo, say things you don't mean to say. Happiness is wanting what you have and love is fearing you could ever experience your life without this other person. So the only thing that comes to my mind when I think of love is 'I do not, ever, want to live a day without loving you.' Silly as it sounds, I know one day I will be out of love. I will miss it like hell. It's crazy to bare your soul like that in front of another person. It's scary, it's irresponsible and maybe, in some cases, just plain stupid. To love, to praise, to trust. But what I had realised a long time ago was that even if for a day, I just need to hold onto it, because once I lose it, a part of me will be gone as well. And I like myself just a little bit more when I'm with you.

Now that I look at those photos, I realize my mum is one gorgeous lady. I wish I looked more like her. The genes are there, I believe. Maybe it's just some generation phenotype leap, I don't know.

Oh, and I will be 21 exactly in a month's time. God dammit.