peace of mind

This week has mixed me up. It has made me feel in love, yet so out of love, at times I was barely standing on my own feet. I can tell you one and one thing only. Despite however life treats you, and if you find yourself responding to it too much, you just stay who you are, and you will be just fine. We have done an incredible work, the two of us, the past three months. And I shiver at the thought of having it all gone, in a second or two. And it might be gone, who knows, but at least when I look at myself in the mirror, I will know that I had tried, and maybe in the end it will make me hate myself just this little bit less. Please promise me that you will trust your gut, okay?

So I need to take a deep breath and just do my thing. Move on. I'm not saying I want to be the weak one, the betrayed one, any time in future. Being tender as they are, relations do leave you hangin', in a way. And maybe it's okay. You're only twenty, you don't need to see all the cards on the table. Just feel that what you're going for is what you want. And oh, okay, you could go around, being silly, trying to prove something to someone, but it's better to be a hurt, fragile yourself than bring unhappiness upon yourself by acting like someone you're not - only because it's easier and it might make you feel better for a moment. Cause you love, for god's sake. You love, and this should be enough. You love, love, love.

Become the person you would ideally fall in love with. Let cars merge into your lane when driving. Pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. Stick your tongue out at babies. Compliment people on their cute clothes. Challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. Then two. Then a week. Walk with a straight posture. Look people in the eye. Ask people about their story. Talk to acquaintances so they become friends. Lie in the sunshine. Daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. Open your eyes. Take small steps to make it happen for you. 

Small steps are fine. They're fine, we're making them together.

Zenit ET with Agfa vista 400, again. Quite a lovely combination. Poznań, get ready for us on the 25th. Thank you for the film suggestions you've left me under the previous post. Possibly next week I'll order some new film to stack myself up for my next trips. Stay safe, everyone. Kisses!