leaking light.

Yes, I am still very much alive. I'm terribly sorry for being missing in action. I am still here, I still catch up with what my friends post, and I do have this incredible need to share my ramblings with you. I just don't take enough pictures. Maybe because I live a pretty static life. I don't move from place to place, I surround myself with the very same people I knew few weeks ago, few months ago, even in 2013. However, my life does change. Unfortunately, life's cruel (or maybe just people are), so this is how much I'll share. Please just know, that I am, in fact, happy. And I try my best to cherish this happiness that I've gotten from the universe. I told myself, K, you really need to finish a roll of film this week. You've got to. You've got to write.

I'm glad to tell you that I've accomodated. I accepted the changes the fourth term at med school brought, and I embraced them the best way I could. It was a killer, though. But I'm doing alright now, thankfully. I'm currently on this line straight up to holidays. March, April, May and June. Lack of sleep (at least 4 hours a night, okay?), lack of social interactions, lack of time, suffering through Microbiology classes. While all I want is to live my life like a Mumford & Sons song. Recklessly, at the top of my lungs. God, oh how I want to be spontaneous. Wake up next to someone, again and again. Feel inspired. BE NOISY. Spring's an amazing season, hands down. I can feel it in my bones, on my lips and in my heart. Days like these, I am actually certain that we will be alright, whatever happens. In the last post, I wrote that March '14 has a lot to live up to. By that I meant not only the first two months of this year, but perhaps mainly March '13, which seemed to be a pretty special month. Now, I'm mature enough to finally face this comparison, and to say that last year I was just a child, ready to hold onto anything, anything at all, that felt alright. I did waste some time, some terrible amount of time, that I had on my hands back then. But most of all, it was all in my head. March '14, even if a bit further away from one hundred percent clarity, is something real, which can be touched with my hands, pulled closer, tapped with my fingers. How fantastic is that? My mountains are so high, my valleys will seem like they're all the way down in hell, when it all ends. But screw that, it's not my fault I'm happy.

I am in mood to write love letters, but I don't even write in my diary anymore. There's this unstoppable stream of thoughts, flowing down my mind. I enjoy having certain dates to look forward to. Even though nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow, and yup, plans might turn to dust as we turn to ashes, yet for me, a moment of blissful ignorance of the odds, so naive, but so soothing, is all I dream of whenever I open my eyes in the morning. I dream of it all being easier for both of us. Of the misadventure part being out of focus, just like in the first picture of that post. 

Love & Misadventure. The book I told you about back in December, finally making an appearance! :)

"Can I ask you something? Anything.
Why is it every time we say goodnight, it feels like goodbye?"

To say a few words about the pictures included in this post. Probably the one that stands out the most is the photograph where my whole year can be seen wearing white lab coats, right before we went to see an actual autopsy, thanks to our Patomorphology class. Quite unusual moment. Thank you K for making me capture this :) Other than that I included some light leaks that especially caught my attention while browsing through my new pictures. I absolutely love Agfa 400, but next time I'll be opting for 200 again :) It was lovely trying wider perspective with that new 28mm lens, but I do miss that insane bokeh Helios 44/2 has going on! :)

Please, be safe. With love, K.