taste and decency.

Thursday 9 January 2014

You started to question my taste, just as I began to question my decency. And just like that we went through the last two weeks -- to the point when it was funny to hear someone say that I must have missed you. Oh the clueless. Thank you for making my comeback more bearable, and nice, pretty nice, I must admit.

I'd say the idea of the rest of this week seems just too pleasant. Not so long ago I was in Gdansk, saying hi to 2014, and now I'm coming back there. Gdansk PTSS conference is my second conference (check out pictures from the Warsaw conference in November of last year), yet the first to happen in the new year, therefore, I suppose, it still has a lot to live up to. No pressure though! Just a 7 hours long train ride, it's not like I expect fireworks. I do, actually. I do.


Every time I leave this city, is like the stable foundation, on which it exists in my mind, collapses. This is why it is so abstract to come back here and live my life just as I did before. Even though I have my place, my bed, lots of personal items scattered around our apartment, each time I come back, it is like I was building something from scratch.

Funny thing, my life. It constantly makes me question what is real and what is not. In about two thirds of cases, I never actually find out. It scares me how easy is to make up something in your mind, fall for an idea, a concept. It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt, which is often the case. I wish my walls would tumble down, and I didn't shut myself out every time an opportunity comes along. But what would life be without trying? Without experiencing moments of joy, without smiling to yourself like a mad person from time to time? Just a dull, empty space. I don't know about you, but it warms up my heart to be able to share my reality with someone. Moments don't last, but life gives us nothing but moments, so don't we rather take active part and enjoy ourselves while we're at it than just let them go too quickly? I often lose my logical outlook on life, which, later on, I regret terribly. Please, just make everything that happens to you count, will you?










13 comments:

  1. What a beautiful self-portrait with your Praktica!

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  2. That photograph of the Christmas tree - so warm and so good! :)

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  3. It's true, everything is a moment. I've been trying to look at life in this way for a while, reminding myself that every monent can count. Sometimes I just get lost in a single moment and then I miss all the good ones.

    Lovely pictures, you have a good eye for a good picture!

    K

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  4. It is inexplicable as to how you manage to captivate every single time. Your posts are so real, so raw with emotion. Just like you I build odd realities and always come back to the one that truly exists. With people, the truth of reality seems less harsh to bear. (See, you're right on that.) I think you and I hold similar values in terms of the appreciation of current moments. Believe me when I say this, Kasia, you are not alone.

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  5. I don't know if you have already seen The secret life of Walter Mitty, or even read the book; anyway, if you haven't, do it. I've seen the movie last night and there's a line which Sean Penn says in a very cathartic moment - "Sometimes I don't. If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don't like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it." Funny thing, this is; it's also about photography :)

    Great pictures, I literally LOVE Flora by Gucci, especially the one with Mandarin fragrance. What film did you use to take these photos? The tones are very nice!

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  6. I visited many photography blog today, including yours! love the vintage photos, you are soo talented! xx

    anyway im following you now, if you like my blog you can follow me back :D

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  7. every single one of your rolls of film makes my day a little better and a little prettier:)

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  8. ...i will try dear Kasia,i will try *
    I'm a sucker for self portraits,you have such great hair and figure <3

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  9. Oh this is all utter goodness. Life is such a strange thing, yet you seem to capture those 'real' moments like magic. And maybe, just maybe the truth lies. - I hope you had a wonderful Christmas by the way, it looks brilliant !!

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  10. Beautiful pictures! specially your self portrait with that pretty camera

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  11. Great set of shots - always mysterious with your self portraits. Your pictures have such a great antique/retro quality to them

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  12. What a beautiful and delicate self-portrait Kasia! as always, your posts are so fresh :-)

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  13. Your blog is amazing, love this set- tells such a story of a life well lived! Newest follower :)

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© Dipped in Rococo ~ lifestyle in analog Maira Gall.