solo days and a happy mess.

May has come. May of all nighter's, May of working at about 120%.

May weekend was something I have really enjoyed. Yes, yes, I have. Even though at first we had some big plans of travelling together, in the end we did not leave my apartment for longer than a quick shopping spree and a brunch. Then I was left alone again, to experience what I call a perfect solo day. 

In about one month, my older sister is getting married. Scary. Will I ever grow to do the same? For now I still feel like a child, it feels alright to have some obligations, but in the end it's just me I take care of. Oh okay, apart from moments like last Wednesday, when I was found oddly useful. So yup, I'm capable of being there for another person. And I'm not as cold as I might seem to you all. 

In about one month, this blog is turning one year old. I'm still shooting, hooray. Though the reality is different, as well as my perception of life. I used to be the person who believed that everything goes right after the big kiss, but now it's all clear that life's a pile of good and bad things mixed together. And I honestly trust the idea that happiness ain't a continuous stream of love and freedom and balance. Happiness is about moments. Moments that gradually fill my happy jar of 2014. Life is also about bad stuff and quite often 'losing it' or having a tear falling down your face and absolutely no will or strength to hide it. It's about bad Wednesdays and fantastic Fridays.

A perfect solo day consists of.

Waking up with the whole bed for yourself, completely wrapped up in sheets.

Making your own breakfast exactly at the time you want it, and if you don't feel like doing breakfast, going for some breakfast outside. Or not having it all, yolo.

Doing some perfect housewife stuff, but not too much, since there is no one to judge you for your mess.

Reading a new book, with excitement in the air, and controversy on the pages.

Writing a new blog post, trying out whatever might work this time around.

Looking for cheap hostel deals and planning your perfect solo trip.

And at last, realising that you'd rather be awaken by someone leaving kisses on your forearm, be robbed of the sheets, make someone a breakfast of scrambled eggs, have them say you look gorgeous with no makeup, give up on your afternoon nap and watch a silly tv show together. Share your dinner, give multiple cider refills and have your favourite tea critisized. Have your hand squeezed lovingly.

It's great how we need the solo days to fully appreciate days when we have company (and conversely). Knowing that it's the balance that sets things right both with your bond with your person and yourself. Hugs and kisses, I'll talk to you soon! :)