back to june reception

Hello to part two of my wedding ramblings, see part one by clicking this link, it's going to be the last one. We were probably the first ones to leave the church and drive to the restaurant where the reception was held. Therefore I managed to capture the interiors before the crowd came. There were 119 invitees, over half of which I did not know. I ended up with no date, which can be regretted horribly, but thanks to my sister's friends I had a lot of fun, maybe even a little too much.

I really loved the way my sister arranged the interiors. I was proud of her choices, I must say. It was a long before the wedding, when she started browsing those wedding design sites, in search of people, designers, products, which would live up to her expectations. One of the included was E for Event with the beautiful M & P decoration.

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I'm back home for the vacations. Huh, it's been a very long year. I am done with my summer practice, I am done with Bialystok for now. I am ready to be lying down all day and only welcoming doses of delicious food.  Maybe it's for good for us to have a little time off. Little thinking, yet not overthinking, is always refreshing. With my birthday just two days away, I don't plan any party. I am just constantly wondering how will I ever know that I am in fact an adult. Tomorrow will be the perfect time to get some drinks with my friends though. There won't be any posts for my 21st birthday (sadly), but I will post new photographs soon, so be prepared for at least one more post before my departure to Budapest.  I hope you will enjoy the pictures. Click on buttons below to follow my posts. I will speak to you soon!

Special thanks to Karolina for having me on her Blog of the month feature. T H A N K  Y O U! ♥

brand new space

On one of hot July afternoons I visited my sis in her new flat, where she and her hubby moved in right after their June wedding. She served me delicious frappe and we spent some quality time on her couch, checking the wine etiquetes she got for the wedding and talking about how our lives have been lately.

I picked a Pull and Bear dress because of how hot it was outside and styled my hair in something braid-like. But don't laugh just yet, it was just a fancy way to make sure my long hair doesn't make the heat any worse. With Tudorcolor inside of my Praktica, I took a few snaps of what her living room looks like. It is so cool that she managed to get all these details that she had always wanted and we had always talked about. enjoy :)

Summer has started for good and temperatures are insane. I recently caught myself welcoming my school year habits back into my life. Never had I thought that I would be on energy drinks during the summer. This morning it was inevitable though. I had to get up at 5.45am, because my summer practice has began. It's a M.D. practice on a hematology ward, so far away from my dentistry stuff. I must say it's not very tough and if it wasn't for the early hours, I'd say it's a good experience. We have met some very talkative patients today, so the hours have just passed by so quickly. I have to say I am really enjoying my vacay so far. We're having desserts and cold beer way more often than during the academic year. We are having sleepovers way more often, which I absolutely adore, even if I hate being tickled by you, you monster.

Big news, on August 10th we are going to beautiful Budapest for a couple of days, and this time we are going by a plane. Saves time and actually, money, in that case. I have began stocking up for that trip, but I am still undecided what films to take. By the way, have you ever had problems with your films when going through customs? Is it true that if the film is below 1600iso, it's safe? I'd hate if all of my photographs were fried with that scanning machine they have there. Lots of you travel a lot, thought I'd ask :)

It's so abstract to ever leave this city. The parting time is coming though, but it just feels insane, because I won't last a week without you.

Speak soon! :)

Seriously, people just cannot photograph me in focus.

their june wedding

So it happened, my sis got married. I'm ashamed to say I partied too hard at her wedding and coming back here, to write an exam only three days later was a killer. Worst hours of my life in the last few months. It was the very first wedding that I attended. Same with wedding reception, which my sis organised perfectly to the last bit. But I'm going to show you some details the other time. For now let's focus on the preparation part, which took place in our house. My sister's hubby brought some cultural gems with him. There was an actual band playing outside of my house, in my garden, with about two dozens of people waiting for my sister to go out in her wedding dress. My fam & I were speechless. I was only Snapchating those moments to my closest people, afraid they would not believe my words.

Photographing at her wedding was a really stresful experience. I am not fully content with what I got, because my sis is a big supporter of my try at shooting film. I am so happy she finds it beautiful and insisted that I take my camera to her wedding as well. Fortunately, apart from me, there was a professional photographer and also a camera man. Crazy, but supposedly it's the last wedding she's the star of, so alright, let her have all that.

We all had lovely little pink carnations in our hair. At first, few months ago, she asked me to be her bridesmaid, but with all the obligations I have at the university and knowing that perhaps I will appear in Olsztyn a day before it all begins, I sadly refused since I believed she needed a person who could give her so much more than I could, in terms of dress choosing and all the other stuff I would have been too busy for. The wedding day began at 7am, because we were already booked at the hairdresser's and after that we drove back to our house where the makeup artist awaited. CRAZY. And of course I ended up looking like a doll. Quite what I wanted, but I take part in such events so rarely that perhaps I could overdo for once. 

Everything went completely insane when it was only about an hour till the church ceremony was to start. My mum was so stressed out and of course there had to be at least three tries before my sis ended up in her dress, with another thirty minutes of lacing it up.

About the love part. I did not take the camera to the church with me because I found it way too emotional. Sitting in the second row, I could see my sister's hands shaking. And everyone present could hear how P's voice was breaking down when he spoke the vows. Oh my. 

Well, love makes you go mad. It makes you act cuckoo, say things you don't mean to say. Happiness is wanting what you have and love is fearing you could ever experience your life without this other person. So the only thing that comes to my mind when I think of love is 'I do not, ever, want to live a day without loving you.' Silly as it sounds, I know one day I will be out of love. I will miss it like hell. It's crazy to bare your soul like that in front of another person. It's scary, it's irresponsible and maybe, in some cases, just plain stupid. To love, to praise, to trust. But what I had realised a long time ago was that even if for a day, I just need to hold onto it, because once I lose it, a part of me will be gone as well. And I like myself just a little bit more when I'm with you.

Now that I look at those photos, I realize my mum is one gorgeous lady. I wish I looked more like her. The genes are there, I believe. Maybe it's just some generation phenotype leap, I don't know.

Oh, and I will be 21 exactly in a month's time. God dammit.

taste and decency.

You started to question my taste, just as I began to question my decency. And just like that we went through the last two weeks -- to the point when it was funny to hear someone say that I must have missed you. Oh the clueless. Thank you for making my comeback more bearable, and nice, pretty nice, I must admit.

I'd say the idea of the rest of this week seems just too pleasant. Not so long ago I was in Gdansk, saying hi to 2014, and now I'm coming back there. Gdansk PTSS conference is my second conference (check out pictures from the Warsaw conference in November of last year), yet the first to happen in the new year, therefore, I suppose, it still has a lot to live up to. No pressure though! Just a 7 hours long train ride, it's not like I expect fireworks. I do, actually. I do.

Every time I leave this city, is like the stable foundation, on which it exists in my mind, collapses. This is why it is so abstract to come back here and live my life just as I did before. Even though I have my place, my bed, lots of personal items scattered around our apartment, each time I come back, it is like I was building something from scratch.

Funny thing, my life. It constantly makes me question what is real and what is not. In about two thirds of cases, I never actually find out. It scares me how easy is to make up something in your mind, fall for an idea, a concept. It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt, which is often the case. I wish my walls would tumble down, and I didn't shut myself out every time an opportunity comes along. But what would life be without trying? Without experiencing moments of joy, without smiling to yourself like a mad person from time to time? Just a dull, empty space. I don't know about you, but it warms up my heart to be able to share my reality with someone. Moments don't last, but life gives us nothing but moments, so don't we rather take active part and enjoy ourselves while we're at it than just let them go too quickly? I often lose my logical outlook on life, which, later on, I regret terribly. Please, just make everything that happens to you count, will you?

whatever it is you're seeking

Whatever it is you're seeking, won't come in the form you're expecting.

Seeing your only sister wearing a wedding dress might be just the most remarkable feeling in the whole world. When the curtains moved apart, I finally realized that this is really happening. June 6th (and I still have no date or generally someone to accompany me, damn it). Okay okay I got a bit teary, but the apogee will be the wedding itself. By the time this thing even starts I will have my mascara running down my face like a stream. It's seriously going to be nerve wrecking experience. Thank God this is not me getting married.

Let me just say how crushed I actually was, when for the first time I learnt that our weddings are nothing like American movies weddings. I've never been to a wedding before, so everything I think I know about weddings comes from cheap romantic comedies that I watch from time to time. And a number of weddings on "The Bold and the Beautiful", but I'll leave that with no further comments. It's hard for me to accept that it seems like the most crucial part is omitted, how come the groom doesn't get told he can finally kiss his bride? This is life ruining. It's not like I'd love for something like this to happen, but I am also sad that the bit of "speak now or forever hold your peace" just won't happen. It's like the most exciting part of the wedding, according to most of the films! Damn the suspense!