back to june reception

Hello to part two of my wedding ramblings, see part one by clicking this link, it's going to be the last one. We were probably the first ones to leave the church and drive to the restaurant where the reception was held. Therefore I managed to capture the interiors before the crowd came. There were 119 invitees, over half of which I did not know. I ended up with no date, which can be regretted horribly, but thanks to my sister's friends I had a lot of fun, maybe even a little too much.

I really loved the way my sister arranged the interiors. I was proud of her choices, I must say. It was a long before the wedding, when she started browsing those wedding design sites, in search of people, designers, products, which would live up to her expectations. One of the included was E for Event with the beautiful M & P decoration.

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I'm back home for the vacations. Huh, it's been a very long year. I am done with my summer practice, I am done with Bialystok for now. I am ready to be lying down all day and only welcoming doses of delicious food.  Maybe it's for good for us to have a little time off. Little thinking, yet not overthinking, is always refreshing. With my birthday just two days away, I don't plan any party. I am just constantly wondering how will I ever know that I am in fact an adult. Tomorrow will be the perfect time to get some drinks with my friends though. There won't be any posts for my 21st birthday (sadly), but I will post new photographs soon, so be prepared for at least one more post before my departure to Budapest.  I hope you will enjoy the pictures. Click on buttons below to follow my posts. I will speak to you soon!

Special thanks to Karolina for having me on her Blog of the month feature. T H A N K  Y O U! ♥

almost twenty one

Being one month away from the 21 mark, I feel like the universe is one mean middle-aged lady, who just doesn't give me a chance to forget that I am growing old. I seem to have some writer's block these days. I know exactly what I want to write about and how to approach it, yet the drafts on this blog remain to be empty except for photographs.  The main goal of this post was to tell you how badly I will miss my childhood years. I still want to possess the naivety of a child, since it makes your falls and failures a little less serious. If I could go to a place I had been before, it would have been to the point before it all began to change for me.  So around age 11,12. Even though later in mu teens it all turned around pretty rapidly. 

Being almost 21, I start to feel the weight of my choices and need to grasp that time tighter, so I can cherish it for another second or two. Some times I feel like it is not going too well, in terms of myself picking a way to have a happy future. I am my only friend, yet some of my actions would say differently. Life is life, it doesn't look like it will change any time sooner. I still fail at saving up, and therefore even after getting a scholarship I am not going to Greece this summer... Maybe next year, but then I will probably have to go alone, since my schedules are not synchronized with anyone's. So I am here again, spending the summer exactly the way I had over the years. As a kid I most feared insomnia. And look at me now, blogging at 3am, because I can't seem to fall asleep. I love the beauty of a night turning into a day. I love staying up because I want to, not because I have to. Althought there is this eternal struggle that I have to face. To drink some orange juice (with the need to brush again, after waiting 15minutes) or not to drink. Daaamn it. 

Love made me stay, but I still worry about the future. I cannot let go completely. In my head I already apologize to myself for not taking a proper care of mu heart. It all began 6 months ago, and all that 6 months were a period of changing and growing up. One of the saddest thoughts I have had in the past few days is that perhaps it is too tough for anyone to love the bits of me. But some white chocolate quickly solved this problem :)

Even if I still do not cook, I give it a try way more often nowadays. And I started to feed other people as well, fortunately not poisoning anyone for now. Oh and I no longer overcook pasta. Win! (Actually it happened once, on the most embarassing time it could have been, because I had someone over for dinner and of course I failed at multitasking and now I ask myself whether it had any big influence on the fact that the guy dumped me later on...)

We are planning our summer trip and I wish it was all over already, in terms of organising stuff. We will probably go by plane, since the train price is insane, wayyy too insane. I love the way A is excited about that. Budapest is a gorgeous place and I just cannot wrap my head around what film to bring with me. The year finished and I have possibly managed to get the highest average mark out of the people my year. I received a Fuji Pro 400H from my sweetheart, so it was the most amazing way to get the lomography season started. I had wanted to try that film forever. FOREVER. This summer I will rely on films I have not used in awhile. Tomorrow I am going to buy some Kodak Gold, and there is also some place in my heart for Ilford (125) since Katie of Curating Cuteness recommends it, and well I always listen to Katie, she is why I started this blog in the first place. So yup, these are my analog plans for the next months.

I am back home and there is a high probability that when I wake up tomorrow I will have my breakfast served. There is no better feeling. But of course, one must leave home and study 270kms away from it, to fully understand it and not take for granted whichever lands on the plate in front of them. I learned my lesson and life has taught me that tea always tastes better at home. I used to love green tea with honey and now I am all way a black tea kind of gal, except for the times when I am back where I was raised. 

Take care guys, I will post soon enough, because I plan to go craaazy with some Tudorcolor the next couple of days. Oh, and happy 6 months, A. Cannot believe time flies by so fast. 

 

their june wedding

So it happened, my sis got married. I'm ashamed to say I partied too hard at her wedding and coming back here, to write an exam only three days later was a killer. Worst hours of my life in the last few months. It was the very first wedding that I attended. Same with wedding reception, which my sis organised perfectly to the last bit. But I'm going to show you some details the other time. For now let's focus on the preparation part, which took place in our house. My sister's hubby brought some cultural gems with him. There was an actual band playing outside of my house, in my garden, with about two dozens of people waiting for my sister to go out in her wedding dress. My fam & I were speechless. I was only Snapchating those moments to my closest people, afraid they would not believe my words.

Photographing at her wedding was a really stresful experience. I am not fully content with what I got, because my sis is a big supporter of my try at shooting film. I am so happy she finds it beautiful and insisted that I take my camera to her wedding as well. Fortunately, apart from me, there was a professional photographer and also a camera man. Crazy, but supposedly it's the last wedding she's the star of, so alright, let her have all that.

We all had lovely little pink carnations in our hair. At first, few months ago, she asked me to be her bridesmaid, but with all the obligations I have at the university and knowing that perhaps I will appear in Olsztyn a day before it all begins, I sadly refused since I believed she needed a person who could give her so much more than I could, in terms of dress choosing and all the other stuff I would have been too busy for. The wedding day began at 7am, because we were already booked at the hairdresser's and after that we drove back to our house where the makeup artist awaited. CRAZY. And of course I ended up looking like a doll. Quite what I wanted, but I take part in such events so rarely that perhaps I could overdo for once. 

Everything went completely insane when it was only about an hour till the church ceremony was to start. My mum was so stressed out and of course there had to be at least three tries before my sis ended up in her dress, with another thirty minutes of lacing it up.

About the love part. I did not take the camera to the church with me because I found it way too emotional. Sitting in the second row, I could see my sister's hands shaking. And everyone present could hear how P's voice was breaking down when he spoke the vows. Oh my. 

Well, love makes you go mad. It makes you act cuckoo, say things you don't mean to say. Happiness is wanting what you have and love is fearing you could ever experience your life without this other person. So the only thing that comes to my mind when I think of love is 'I do not, ever, want to live a day without loving you.' Silly as it sounds, I know one day I will be out of love. I will miss it like hell. It's crazy to bare your soul like that in front of another person. It's scary, it's irresponsible and maybe, in some cases, just plain stupid. To love, to praise, to trust. But what I had realised a long time ago was that even if for a day, I just need to hold onto it, because once I lose it, a part of me will be gone as well. And I like myself just a little bit more when I'm with you.

Now that I look at those photos, I realize my mum is one gorgeous lady. I wish I looked more like her. The genes are there, I believe. Maybe it's just some generation phenotype leap, I don't know.

Oh, and I will be 21 exactly in a month's time. God dammit.