If we were on a coffee date I

Thanks to Allie, I got introduced to this fun linkup by Heartnatured, which is a perfect way for me to share my thoughts over a cup of virtual coffee, are you ready? That's a first for me!

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you how much I am relieved to finally have some time off after this semester is officially over for me. That perhaps the cold, that I currently have, found me just in the right time, when I spend days under my blanket, waiting until the sleep falls on me. I hate colds. My sinuses hate colds. They somehow strip me off of every desire that I have in my mind.

I would tell you that in January I have done some work as a Local Exchange Officer of International Association of Dentals Students, which got me very interested in doing some travelling this next summer myself. I am currently looking into my options of exchange to Spain, if the language doesn't get in the way. I would love to live in Madrid or Barcelona for a few weeks. I feel like that would give my life and thinking some perspective. And certainly, this blog and my camera would love it too. This is crucial, as I always try to please those two as much as I want to please myself. Then I'd take another sip off our delicious caffeine treat and continue my stories.

No place for beginners or sensitive hearts

The moment I realized that I started to listen to music that my parents used to listen to in our home was somehow significant. I would now spend my evenings listening to Sade & Simply Red, and it was as if I could feel my body getting old. I would dream of somebody holding me while those songs play in the background. I would beg the world to go back to how I was before I felt love, because feeling it for the first time was the feeling worth waiting for. Sometimes I feel so blessed that I have a future ahead of me. That there will be people who become my friends, there will be feelings, now I know that for sure. We're spinning, spinning madly on. We're made to repeat our mistakes, we're meant to live, bleed, get back on our feet. I see a proof for that in every day that I experience. I'm not sure why today I am in such an emotional mood to write such things. I don't feel the negativity, I only feel hope. 

it's complicated

It's complicated. This is how I would describe my life at this point. I feel so utterly tangled up in things, I no longer know where I am headed. Although from time to time, I can picture myself in that cosy apartment, with the Nutcracker score playing in the background. Light, big interiors that over the years I would have filled with my things and my loving. Smell of baked apple pie. A fluffy cat sleeping on my knees. But once again, I bet if I ever have a cat, it will be mean and it will end up hating me. And I will call it weird names like Mr Jinggles or something connected with food or worse, dentistry, as I originally wanted. The Nutcracker and other of Tchaikovsy's works will always remind me of my childhood years. The happy and clueless times. 

going on a journey

Beginning of the year brings me much thought about life, choices and love. I would always say that I live for the little moments of happiness and true emotions running through my veins and causing shivers down my spine. It is so good not to be blinded by love. I feel like it is such a bliss to be able to look clearly at the people who are now in my life. Have you ever felt proud of the progress you've done? It's like being in a situation and being able to relate to it, knowing how your old self would react. And here I am today, with my grown up self behind my eyes, and I am no longer scared or weak. I am no longer needy and I don't have to settle for anything I am not sure of. And if I am not sure of something, maybe it's not entirely up to me to decide. What lasts lasts, what doesn't doesn't. Even if it lasts only for a minute, I want to hold onto that feeling for as long as it can be. And now the word entirely is stuck in my head, as I guess I have always liked how this one is pronounced. Weird thing. But that wasn't what I meant to talk about in this post... We were supposed to talk about my journey, so let's do it!