going on a journey

Beginning of the year brings me much thought about life, choices and love. I would always say that I live for the little moments of happiness and true emotions running through my veins and causing shivers down my spine. It is so good not to be blinded by love. I feel like it is such a bliss to be able to look clearly at the people who are now in my life. Have you ever felt proud of the progress you've done? It's like being in a situation and being able to relate to it, knowing how your old self would react. And here I am today, with my grown up self behind my eyes, and I am no longer scared or weak. I am no longer needy and I don't have to settle for anything I am not sure of. And if I am not sure of something, maybe it's not entirely up to me to decide. What lasts lasts, what doesn't doesn't. Even if it lasts only for a minute, I want to hold onto that feeling for as long as it can be. And now the word entirely is stuck in my head, as I guess I have always liked how this one is pronounced. Weird thing. But that wasn't what I meant to talk about in this post... We were supposed to talk about my journey, so let's do it!

What if I decided to leave one day? That thought of a journey on my own somehow feels more appealing to me than I should be. It's almost like I want to test myself and see what happens, how I react. I have so say I have been brought up to always think the world is a vast and scary place. My mum would always be overprotective of myself and my sister. My growing up was rather boring, since I was always a little bit afraid of the outside world. Yet on the other hand, I always felt this inner need to explore it. Over three years ago I decided to leave the world as I knew it and go study to another city. I have to say it worked out perfectly. I accomodated, found my way. It even turned out that I am capable of cooking! What a shocker. Few days ago, when I was coming back to Bialystok after the Christmas break, it turned out that there was some railway collision on the tracks connecting two of my cities, resulting in transport problems and having to change from the train to a bus and then to a train again at 10pm. But I already had my ticket bought! And people who know me, know that there is one thing in this world that I completely cannot stand, and that is when something changes my plans. My mum and my grandparents told me not to go. Told me to postpone the departure, because I obviously wouldn't make it. Not in this terrible cold. Bags, running, switching the mean of transportation. But of course I did not back away from this idea and plan that I had. My dad drove me to the railway station and when we said goodbyes, he said: "You can do this. You're an adult. You have to handle this." And as much as I cannot get along with this man, he said everything that I needed to hear at that point.

I had big plans for the winter break. I was almost ready to go to Milan on my own. But I got scared and rejected that idea at last. Milan was a big step. Airplane travel on my own, being in a country with different culture and language. Also euro pricing is always a killer to my wallet. As I finally bought myself a new laptop, some of my funds were used for that cause and it leaves me with too little to handle Milan. Didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to. I got really sad that I didn't manage to fullfil that one thing that I wanted. But today, as I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes, one thought hit me. Milan might be far away, but what about Cracow? It's much closer, it's Polish. I have never been there (apart from the conference where I did not see anything), so there would be this element of excitement and adventure. It's Polish. Only 6 hours away. This is a city I have always wanted to explore! That idea will probably haunt me for a couple of next days. If I buy a travel guide, I am pretty much settled. I love buying travel guides as first steps to new travels. How do you like to start planning your own travels? And how do you choose travelling destinations?

My favourite solo traveller is Nancy Wilde. If you don't know her then you should visit her blog immediately, she's also a super sweet girl. See The Nancy Wilde Experience.