hello back!

Lately I do feel this weird blockade that I cannot find my way to pass while expressing my feelings. Actually, recently, I don't have power or will to express myself at all. This is why I didn't write much, because every time that I tried, was a failure. Maybe the crisis that I am facing it's happening because I feel like adulthood is just around the corner? And I am nowhere near settled. I focused more on my businesses, marketing my photography work. And it paid off :) Maybe it's just like any other morning, that caffeine will make me go eventually. And the mood swings, they will go away too. Of course I have so many photos to show you. Maybe I wasn't shooting too often, but since I've been gone, I completed a couple of rolls. Switched back to my beloved Helios lens. Hello again, bokeh times!

what, when, how

When I was in the junior high school, my best friend (at a time) and I used to have this quote taken from one of the teen drama books, it went "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, remember that what you have was once among the things you only hoped for." It is by Epicurus and somehow it landed in front of my 13 teenage eyes. It is pretty likely that at that time I had no idea who Epicurus was (even after taking philosophy class two years ago I can recall that he was Greek and a philosopher and started his own thinking path). So I was very young, but this quote made its way into my heart, even though I am not a person of words, I am a person of calculation, growth and cells. I do not know it for sure, but it is one quote that has followed me for almost ten years, everywhere I went, I sort of live by it. It is a sad quote, almost tragic because it presents evolution of the mind and how it will always run ahead of us, changing our direction before we realise it. Thanks to this blog I can now share it with you, and it makes my heart grow fonder.

first time with kodak portra

Looks like I might have caught a cold from my cold,  f r e e z i n g  heart. No matter how silly it sounds, it might just be the case. Or it's just the mix of hormones in my cardiovascular system that makes me continuosly push you away from me. I want us to pull through. To arrive ashore in one piece. This is what I am hoping for these days. This is the wish that I have.

Having my photographs displayed some place public was an incredible experience. It happened at the night of museums in the Branicki Palace, where our university's photography club had its exbihibtion. Since one of the members is studying dentistry with me, he asked whether I would like to have some of my photos displayed. I said yes! The picking process was pretty long and almost gave me a headache. It was all worth it though! The minute we stepped inside the Palace and I saw actual human beings lurking around the exhibition and looking at my works - a truly beautiful feeling entered my heart and left me pumped up for another week or so! 

Moments like these, when my photography "goes alive", I find myself even more motivated and happy. 

Today I want to show you some snaps using Kodak Portra 400. This is a so-called professional film, which is also more expensive than what I usually use. I was supposed to keep it for portraits, but since I did not manage to find time for a pre-planned shooting session, I just shot the roll during my normal activities. I am very satisfied with the results and the tones, warm and up-lifting. Exactly what I was looking for :)