Visiting Mocak - Modern art gallery in Krakow

While in Cracow, we visited a bunch of galleries, because most of the usual exhibitions are now available at a reduced price for students, what a cool perk! Modern Art Gallery called MOCAK is the first one that I will be talking about and sharing some photos.

What caught my eye immediately after we left our coats in the cloakroom were the exhibits that we could see in the main corridor of the gallery, before even entering the exhibition part of the building. Guess it is all one big piece of art. There were vending machines standing in the hall, each of them in different color, filled with canned drinks of some kind. As I came closer, it struck me that it was indeed an art piece "Satisfaction Guaranteed" by Joanna Rajkowska, a provocative work involving vending machines with elements of her body for symbolic consumption.Each drink type was something unusual. Representing a human need, things somehow so appealing, yet sadly not achievable by some liquid in a can. That was a very cool project in my opinion. "melon flavored drink with an extract from the retina, strenghtening the vision. edition limited to 500 cans."

reality of being twenty+

- t h e  b i r t h d a y  g i r l -

I know I had told you there would be no post for my twenty first birthday, but I had not predicted a new roll would be finished by me around that time. I thought I wouldn't have a cake, no party whatsoever, nothing to show you, my friends. My sister surprised me with a delicious cake with raspberries, wild strawberries (my favourite!) and blueberries, which was bought, not made, but she picked certainly the best she could :)

My life is like a rollercoaster right now. I cry a lot, I feel moody, weird, tangled up, troubled. I often ask myself where the boundary lies, where the turning point is, and whether will I ever be capable of saying 'it's too much, it's over'. For now, I cannot do that. I am physically and mentally not capable and not ready to change anything in my life. Even though I probably know that it would be for the best. I won't deny myself simple pleasures of existence. Sighs, deep breaths, reckless behaviour, falling in love. I just won't, because if I do, then what will be left of me? If you asked me if I was happy now, I would answer "I have never been happier in my whole life."

I wonder, how will I ever be able to differentiate losing myself (as in changing myself to the point where the old me is going, going and gone) from changing due to growing up? Both I fear, but one is inevitable, mostly because my bonds with people are getting tighter. And maybe I am changing for them, so it's a little bit easier to get along with me, so I don't get them disappointed or even furious. Deep down inside, I want someone to get to me, to really get to know me, in the most realistic and romantic way. I want for them to be able to say they know the real me, and I desire not feeling like I'm not enough. I feel shivers down my spine. Will that ever be true? I do not know. I doubt it, because that's my nature. I strongly despise the voice in my head that doubts stuff. But I cannot help it. My life has been like a dream ever since I finished high school. I have been caught up in the most unusual things. It's like there is a magnet between the extraordinary & I. I am no longer your regular girl next door, or maybe I still am, who knows what kind of secrets a regular girl next door keeps in her diary.

And oh my, Tudorcolor, I LOVE YOU.