travel diary: kraków

You know what indicates you have just had a great trip? When you come back home and all you want to do is to start planning another one. 

This is honestly the first photo I have taken in that amazing city. It wasn't well thought over, just a capture of the first thing my eyes saw when I entered the Main Square of Krakow. See the wall on the left? I just refused to wait until we pass it by completely. As always the camera that accompanied me was Canon AE-1 Program and photos in this post were shot with Agfa Vista 200 film, Fuji X-tra 400 & Kodak Ultramax 400.

We did a bunch of things during that trip. We visited a Cat cafe, oh what a horrendous experience.  We did lots of sight seeing and museum visiting, which I loved. We grabbed Japanese fast food - takoyaki, which are made from batter and squid - also called Octopus balls :) I finally saw the Lady with an ermine painting, which is a life must see I guess. I will definitely split the whole story into a few posts at least! So if you are interested, click the read more and let's start!

back and forth

I am a little ticking bomb. tick-tock Feeling like I could crush us all down anytime soon. Is it easy to be this way? No. It's the toughest thing ever to be looking into your eyes and knowing that for the best you should just let me go already. Fortunately or the contrary, someone gave me the body of selfishness and the heart of weak human material. I cannot stop and won't stop. I feel the destruction coming my way, but I'd rather burn myself down than change the locks that separate me from sanity. There are things that I want to strongly believe into. That I'm worth what I'm getting. And I am not talking about the bits of sadness or unclarity. I want to believe that finally, after all this time, the world is letting me off the leash. That it's not some Cinderella stuff that will end before I manage to blink twice. That it was all given to me, not to be taken away, but to stay.

winter shorts

Hello there, snow. Hello there, frost welcoming my cheeks each time I exit the library. 

I was afraid of winter this year. Afraid of its cold touch upon my already freezing heart. Few weeks ago, this is exactly what I wrote in my diary. "I am worried about the impact the forthcoming winter might have on my heart. I am afraid, this time around, it will miss the warm touch it received a year ago. Maybe it will even freeze over eventually. But wouldn't that be for the best? Frozen is better than itching from cold and tiredness. Frozen means better off safe, delicate, yet not currently suffering. Unless something comes creeping in with a hammer to shatter it to pieces, and I may never retrieve its prior form again, even if spring ever comes." Winter came, along with December of all-nighters, patients, not keeping my distance with some people, and sinusitis. I really did intent to write more, the universe knows I did. I just got caught up with stuff that I could not postpone. Don't feel abandoned, though. I predicted short winter days and artificial lights would not become my best friends, so it's not anything that I didn't plan. Getting a new film developed is like a spark in this brand new cold world. I guess there's no turning back now, right? Christmas is happening and I can do nothing about it. Not that I have something against it, I just never felt like it was my time of the year.

How come whenever winter comes we become more dependent on other people? We do want to become dependent on someone, and that's the truly scary part. You can try to kill it with time you spend with your textbooks, but it always comes back, crawling up your spine. You become responsible for what you have tamed.

I slept for approximately two hours last night, but now I just can't seem to fall asleep. How would you call it? Apathy? Or maybe a change of the heart?  Having hot water with honey and ginger, a real gem of my childhood, I try to calm myself down and write to clear my head. Actually, after all the anger left my mind, I am thankful that you decided to cross-question me that night and make me admit something that I was always afraid to admit to myself. I could be myself with you, if only just for a moment. I wish you were more responsible with me later on, but I know it's silly. I should have known better, after all those times. And it's myself that I blame the most.

(Lomo side of the story. Agfa vista 200 with artificial light, what was I even thinking?)

Sadly, I only managed to see one projection at the Żubroffka festival this year. Just one and it managed to bring me all the way back to the start, December 2012. Before you google it, Żubroffka is an alternative film festival, held in Białystok. Being international, it brings together loads of amazing people, cultures and points of view. Their beautifully printed catalogue is my favourite souvenir, and definitely something that I plan to collect through the years. 

Two hours, five movies. A documentary, two animations, two stories. A perfect balance. I sort of agree that this year, the festival was slightly different. It's still, of course, alternative, which I adore, but last winter, when I entered the cinema for the first time, everything just drew me in. Somehow it was more magical, more personal. Not because of the obvious reasons, but maybe I just missed the point back then. Despite all that, it's definitely an event to attend, so go for it, if you ever have a chance!

the essence of Prague

P R A G U E ,  T H E  E S S E N C E  I N  P I C T U R E S.

pour l'amour du cafe

            My sister spotted that little place thanks to the Tekstualna blog, since this is where the meeting of Tri-city bloggers was held this summer. She showed me their facebook page and even at first sight I knew we have to visit when we're in Gdynia. They have a chalkboard menu, we're going, I thought. They were soon leaving on their little vacay so they didn't have everything presented in the menu, nevertheless, that place left us speechless and definitely wanting more! It's become a must see place for me, every time I visit Gdynia. Apart from coffee, smoothies, tartas, delicious tea and wine, they serve also cream soups, variations on French bread with additions, salads and even linguine pasta. We were lucky to visit on their last working day before the aforementioned vacation and at the time when the place was almost empty, which gave me more space to take photographs and I must say, an additional boost of confidence that one needs when photographing in a public, little place like this. The Pavlova dessert that I ordered, which was orange flavoured (they apparently have different flavour each day), was really worth its price, although my wallet might have just hesitated a bit at first. We drank jasmine and lavandin tea, served in a lovely pot, which allowed multiple refills of our cups. I was really worried my pictures would not fully reflect the atmosphere of that place, but in the end I feel like I kind of succeeded.

Even though I have another month of vacation left, I really feel October breathing down my neck already, which is frustrating, because I haven't actually used that summer too much. My Prague sally is coming soon and I'm trying my best to stay positive about it, but I sort of miss going somewhere further, the way I did last September, when after 3 months of hard work I was able to fund myself a trip to Italy where it was still pretty hot when Poland was seriously turning autumn mode on. I'm going to give up on too many pleasures this academic year, saving up, and next summer I'm going to go somewhere real, like Venice or Amsterdam at least.

Why did I even open my mailbox today, huh? I've just got a Rewards Style invite to a rooftop party happening in New York during the Fashion Week. A ROOFTOP PARTY, which is invite only. And has open bar and a photobooth Just kill me. I'll go sit under my blanket and cry now. Bye.

Lavenda Cafe Galeria // Starowiejska 11, 81-356 Gdynia

http://lavendacafe.pl

Things to be happy about.

When buying preowned books I always look for the previous owner's comments somewhere on margins of the pages. 14,000 things to be happy about, which I bought few years ago for like 5$ on ebay, is no exception. Overall, I bought it in a pretty good condition , but some of the things mentioned in the book were underlined, some even a few times, but then thoroughly, angrily perhaps, covered with pen. I did my best to read them anyway. The one bearing most marks is "Avoiding people who make you feel guilty." Double underlined, then crossed out, multiple times.

It's been laying on my shelf for quite a long time, but I still have a soft spot for that book. I thought I would take a brief look into it again and tell you some of my faves among those 14,000 things one should be happy about.

the feel of rug under bare feet, tall people, chew face or smash mouth (kiss), eating all your snacks before the movie even starts, seeing old people holding hands, food that means love, that vacation feeling, taking a walk when the world is too much, looking back on the past with as much pleasure as you get from looking forward to the future, carrying cups of coffee out to the porch to enjoy the morning sunshine, just one day of looking terrific, showing a child how much fun life can be, a whisper impossible to resist (underlined two times), reading outside on a blanket wearing a big sweater in the autumn sun, nocturnal drinking expeditions, remembering people's names long after they've forgotten yours, making colored chalk drawings on the pavement, our lives being what our thoughts make them, lessening the impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers, getting what you want and what you need at the same time, carrying 10 books home from the library, being taken to the zoo, ancient ruins, surviving a summer job, shooting a whole roll of film in one day, controlling the largest empire on the Monopoly board, writing poetry that no one will see, blouses with Peter Pan collars, sitting down and really thinking out an attitude of yours that you are not sure of, talking to yourself, the Greek alphabet: alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, iota, kappa, lambda, mu, nu, xi, omicron, pi, rho, sigma, tau, upsilon, phi, chi, psi, omega, and my favourite (you know I could go on the whole day) the sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor during basketball games.

Why is that my fave? Probably because of how silly it even sounds, no one would ever think that this is something worth being happy about, but now I know. I love that sound, I really do. It reminds me of the times when I used to play, it reminds me of some teenage drama series, of achieving something like the best player of the game title, of being wild and a fighter. Never before had I though that hearing that sound made me happy, but now it truly does and I often hear it in my head.

These are just a few examples. Honestly, it's impossible to read the whole book at once, I come back to it from time to time, pick a random page and even more random line and see what's hiding there for me. Some of the things listed are pretty doable, or shall I say, easy to get to experience, others pose more symbolical associations. You can find a bunch of meals, cities, sayings, slogans, song or movie titles among the pages. Some are personal, some universal. Wouldn't it be amazing to try to capture some of those "things" on film?

"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have."

Thank you so much for all the beautiful words you've said under the previous post, using that new Helios lens is a real blast, it really makes magic happen and I am so so glad you share this opinion! Thanks for all that positive feedback! ♥

lover of the light

A dream of togetherness  | Turned into a brighter mess  |  A faint sign my spoken best  | Now, now

I love clouds, especially cirrus and cumulus, but there is this special place in my heart for a completely cloudless, blue sky. When looking at it, you've got this perfect sense of clarity and peacefulness, with the wind making the sun's heavy and warm touch a little more bearable. I love days like that. I'm really not into the heat kind of days, unless I'm spending them by the Mediterranean Sea, which this year, sadly, won't happen. At that point, I have a bunch of vacay dreams. The first group is Maldives, Thailand, RPA and Japan, so therefore locations that are one hundred percent unreachable for me right now. A girl can dream though, right? The second kind is vacation in Santorini, Greece. With all the delicious food, sapphire waters and candy-colored houses carved into cliffs! That will totally happen one day. I have no doubts about it.

Summer is about to end, so I invited my girls over to my garden, so we talked a little, drank some more, and I had to face the fact that it was the time for me to finally bake something. For the first time in my life. I knew that AJ, who has a knack for it, will bring some delicious cake, so I decided to make the simplest lemon muffins that exist! I could buy the ready-made, powder ones, but as always I approach everything very seriously, I decided to do everything from scratch. Fortunately, everything went my way and it looks like I haven't poisoned anyone. :) We had mineral water with cucumber, my lemon muffins, two kinds of black raspberries cake, Carlo Rossi wine, fresh watermelon and Au Revoir Simone's "The Lucky One" playing in the background. It's got to be all that one needs to fully enjoy a summer picnic. I shot two rolls of film in one day! :) I'm sure it will be insanely tough for me to do the pic selection once I get them on a cd. (I always write the posts before I actually get the pictures, with analogue photography, you already have to wait a long time, so I'd hate to just waste it.) (edit: it was indeed tough, I hope I did the pictures justice and picked the right ones to get your imagination going, the rest of them will be either on my flickr or facebook, check the buttons that appear at the top of the page for the links, cheers!)

I would like to thank you because I did not expect it to be so soon that there will be people who will want to comment on my posts and photos. Considering that this blog was, from the start, just some place for my sorrows to be dragged into the daylight and now it's become more of a happy place, where you guys can really get to know me, despite our differences and various outlooks on life, I'm really happy about that! Most of you have your own blogs, and some are into analogue photography themselves, so being in that community really gives me motivation and a lot of inspiring photographs to look at, at daily basis. I'm having an absolute blast with my Praktica, shooting one roll after another. My new Helios lens is pure magic, you can probably tell just by looking at the pictures I featured in this post, that Helios 44-2 has some crazy bokeh going on. On Saturday, I'm going to Gdynia for a weekend and I have already made a list of places to visit, most of which are pretty hipsterish caffes, oh me. Having written that, I wish you all a great week, see you soon! Bye! :)

still not a wine type of a girl  |  a snap of myself that AJ took

Cafe L'Art de Vivre

I'm a sucker for visuals. I'm a sucker for pretty places and their pretty logos. And delicious beverages I'm about to drink in a moment. Half of my friends, or generally people I hang out with, think I'm weird for taking pictures of food or coffees I'm having. The other half just thinks I'm a hipster and rarely mentions the fact. Anyway, I feel like everyone, at some point, judges me for it. And what's more pointless than taking pictures of food? Caring about other people's opinions, because you know what? Most of the time they don't really judge you, because they don't care enough to do that. And even if they did, they would forget about it in a second. The rest is in your head. So I'd say, chill out, have fun, if you love that sandwich you've just made yourself and you want a snap of it, then do it & enjoy it. (Alright, that doesn't apply to people constantly whining that they need to lose some kgs, being constantly on a diet, but posting food pictures to their Instagram every five minutes. That will most likely drive me nuts.)

I THINK EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS ART. WHAT YOU DO. HOW YOU DRESS. THE WAY YOU LOVE SOMEONE, AND HOW YOU TALK. YOUR SMILE AND YOUR PERSONALITY. WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN, AND ALL YOUR DREAMS. THE WAY YOU DRINK YOUR TEA. HOW YOU DECORATE YOUR HOME. OR PARTY. YOUR GROCERY LIST. THE FOOD YOU MAKE. HOW YOUR WRITING LOOKS. AND THE WAY YOU FEEL. LIFE IS ART. —HELENA BONHAM CARTER

I finally started to socialize again! Honestly, that little break I had was the best idea ever. I still do enjoy some "me" time, for example every morning, with a coffee in my hand and on Tuesdays with a new fresh episode of Teen Wolf. I know the title might be a turn off, but considerating the fact that "teen" for American television means in their twenties, seeing a lot of shirtless guys on that show is actually not such a guilty pleasure. Oh come on, I obviously watch for the plot. Yup, and the plot's other name is Daniel Sharman.

Let's just take a moment to appreciate the fact that I finally got the full roll of perfectly exposed pictures! Yuhu! Now just let me to work on my hands so they don't shake too much when I'm photographing. Again, too much coffee. 24 out of 24, some not in their best focus, but seriously I couldn't care less. You should have seen my little happy dance when I looked at the negative. Score. A big one, at least for me. These are the first pictures that I post which are made with my new camera, Praktica MTL 3. I definitely love it. It's easy for beginners, a little heavier than my tank-like Zenit though. First time photographing with Agfa Vista Plus 200, too! A lot of lucky firsts lately.

Cafe L'Art de Vivre // Św. Wojciecha 2, 10-038 Olsztyn