Relationships with people are fragile. Sometimes all it takes it's a shift of light and you realize nothing will ever be the same. Maybe I should look closer at the way their pupils react, and the faces change to avoid future disappointments. Wish I could hear thoughts, read their expressions like open books. From time to time I feel so extremely frustrated that I have to be around anyone. My fists clench at the thought of things that people hide from each other. Now I am sure that they will eventually come right back at you, vicious, out for blood.
I am using my Praktica again, as it feels great to hold its sturdy body in my hands, focusing Helios 44-2. I finally have two great cameras that I can rely on, so shooting black&white and color at the same time is possible and finally real. I keep trying to photograph more people. I am still a beginner, I don't know how to encourage them to open up in front of the camera. Taking little steps, with Monika as my current model, I hope we are on the way to something great.
Have you ever been in a situation where you finish a roll of film, and when you try to get it out of the camera... it turns out that you never took a single photograph of that roll?? And then the big ocean of despair starts flooding your heart. Well it happened to me last weekend, exactly when we were out on a road trip with A, my flatmate and her boyfriend. Seriously, damn. I tried to keep a straight face, telling them that it's all right, that I wouldn't cry myself to sleep that night, that things like this happen. A minute of silence for that one roll of Fuji Superia 200. I'm sure it could have been full with wonderful memories of that trip. Take care, guys. We'll speak soon, I promise! Also, guess who has just bought a new lens - 135mm this time? New photography experience is surely coming.
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